Hey Paige Walker! What’s Poppin’?

Jeni is busy moving, homeschooling and ain’t got no time for blog question answering currently. I, however, have more time on my hands than usual and quite a few questions to get through. So lezzzzzzz do it.

Q: Do you regret doing any routine beauty stuff (lashes etc.) now that you can’t maintain?

A: I feel like I have been able to transition out of the hair/lashes/tanning pretty easily. The worst for me has been my hair extensions. I have had some form of extensions for 18ish months. Tape ins were pretty damaging and I am now seeing the full scope of that damage. My hair is broken off and so much thinner. It’s kind of shocking. I switched to sew ins and they don’t stay in place as long, but they don’t seem to be destroying my hair quite as bad. I had my stylist come take out my sew ins, they were hanging on by a literal thread, and she let me borrow one of her halo extensions from halo couture. This thing looks so good, but I feel like it could flop out and on the floor way too easy. And THAT would be too embarrassing even for me. I also have clip in extensions that stay in way better.

My hair color grows out in a balayage sort of look. I don’t get it quite as blonde as I used to. As much as I would love to get my hair highlighted, it’s not bothering me as bad as I thought. Now if I had grey roots, I would be stressing. Lashes have also been a struggle. I still have some hanging on, but I absolutely have to wear mascara to make them blend and I have to use a lash growth serum to speed up those baby spike lashes.

My weekly spray tan is very missed. It made me look so much more alive, fit and just dang cuter. I have made it through with these great products and they are far easier than I expected.

Q: What is your prioritized list to get done post-quarantine (nails, hair, waxing, etc)?

A: Hair. Lashes. Nails. Tan. In that order and all on the same day. Can that be worked out somehow?

Q: Are you doing any photography sessions?

A: I haven’t been since the shelter in place order began. If you didn’t know, I have been a professional photographer for almost 10 years and have a studio in Fort Worth. We are about to start back up and I can’t wait! I am so used to being busy with photography, seeing my clients and meeting new ones that this has been pretty sucky. Plus having almost zero income. Stress! This too shall pass.

Q: What’s your enneagram number?

A: I am a 3w2 and Jeni is a 6.

From the Enneagram Institute website, “Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models who inspire others.”

I fall in one of the healthy levels, I see my value, am authentic as can be, believe in myself. Praise!

If you haven’t taken the enneagram test yet, we recommend this one.

Q: I love your confidence! Any tips?

A: Thank you! I have built it up over the years, I used to be far more insecure and unsure of myself. I keep my self talk positive, and genuinely deep down I want to spread happiness, positivity and light hearted fun! Visualizing the life you want and journaling about it can help you to achieve it. Don’t be afraid to make moves, a lot of my confidence stems from risks I have taken and believing I will thrive. The way you carry yourself, (I’m sure you have heard me say “you are your brand” before), can make such a difference. Stand tall, look people in the eyes, and just act like you own the room even if you feel like a pissant. Being confident comes from inside, but if you did something badass, own it! It doesn’t make you a jerk if you have success and are excited about it. If you are feeling like confidence is a struggle for you, take steps to really love yourself! Don’t limit yourself, don’t self-sabatoge and truly believe that you are capable of greatness and that you will receive it. I sound like Joel Osteen. But y’all, for real, confidence is the sexiest thing and we all can become more confident in ourselves.

Let’s address this elephant in the room. I have been quiet about my marriage situation and I know how curious people are and how invested you feel in our story.

Q: What is the update on the marriage?

A: After so much thought, prayer, journaling, therapy, reading, talking and fighting for it to work, we made the decision to end the marriage. It wasn’t easy. In fact, I’ve never been through something more hellacious and traumatizing in my life, on many levels. Rock bottom is every bit as awful as it sounds and I was worried I would never be able to be my happy self again. Once we were able to move forward with the decision, things started to fall into place. We are enjoying our friendship, transitioning into coparenting so well, the kids are fabulous and the mood and tone is so much lighter and happier. The weight lifted is larger than you know and divorce doesn’t have to be an all out war. We didn’t even hire attorneys and I’m so thankful we have peacefully navigated this with a few minor bumps and are handling it with grace. After all, we will always be a family and lawyering up and hurting each other was never the intent.

Q: What do you see happening in your future now that you’re solo? Dating sites/apps etc?

A: I would love to eventually meet someone who can connect with me on all levels. I would love for Zach to meet someone that appreciates him and loves him just as he is. But until then, we will have fun and navigate the single life as best as we can.

Q: Is Zach no longer part of “your people?”

A: Zach will always be my people! Our relationship has changed, but is still very strong and we love and respect each other so much. We basically grew up together. We are finding that a family can do things differently and see more happiness and success than we thought possible. I am so proud of how Zach and I have handled the separation and we are better than ever in our new roles.

Q: So curious why you live in your old house currently and not the new one. Did you sell the new one?

A: We all moved to the new house when it was done, assuming the old house would sell quickly and a global pandemic wasn’t on the horizon. It actually worked out really well because I got the kids settled in the new house, I lived upstairs and it was low drama and a pretty decent set up. Zach mentioned to me that I should move back to the old house because we were paying for it anyway and he knew that I was really craving my own space. I was feeling like a guest at someone else’s house and so I agreed. We would also be able to give our custody schedule a trial run while living down the street from each other. The plan as of now is for Zach to stay in the custom home we built and for me to find somewhere else to move when the old house sells. At first I found that unfair, but if it’s really about the kids, they are settled and happy there and I can make a new place home easily. Stuff is just stuff, a fancy house is just a fancy house. We are rocking this situation and it’s very easy on the kids because the houses are both places they have lived and love and are comfortable with. Who would have thought that the house not selling and a pandemic cancelling school would be such a blessing for us?!

Q: Can you just keep the old house for yourself, why are you selling it?

A: It will make more financial sense for me to find something less expensive. Otherwise I would be happy to stay here!

Q: Will you be moving back to the new house when the old house sells?

A: I may stay with Zach temporarily if I need to while looking for another house, but the ideal plan would be for me to move straight into my own place. We have no negativity toward each other, it would just be kind of awkward in some ways I think. I know he will gladly have me move back in for a bit if that need arises. We are homies.

I had to combine a ton of the questions and pick and choose which ones to type out because so many were similar. I hope that helped shed some light on my current life!

Q: Anything you would have done differently in your new home now that you moved in? Looking at building soon.

A: I thought we had enough storage closets until we moved in. I would have added a linen closet upstairs and downstairs.

Q: How do you juggle being a girl boss and a great mom at the same time?!

A: Running my businesses from home makes it easy to switch back and forth between mom and professional Paige. It also makes it damn near impossible to get any work/life boundaries. I stick to my daily to do list and then when it’s done, I’m done. I take breaks and spend time with the kids when they are home and I’ve made it a priority to do some sort of outing with a kid individually or all 4 of them once a week. I’m always working on improving this balance and sometimes I kill it, sometimes I suck. You have to give yourself major grace and know your kids feel love and see you working and juggling it all.

Q: Best advice for a mom starting a new business! It’s scary to take that leap!

A: Jump. Don’t look back. Don’t listen to the haters, don’t compare yourself to people who have been in business longer and seemingly have it all together. Price yourself higher than you feel comfortable with, you will soon not feel that way and your time is worth so much more than you think when you are getting started. Hire a bookkeeper. Learn quickly from your mistakes, you will make so many. So many. But each one is an opportunity to change your process and get that much stronger. I wrote a business blog post not too long ago with some helpful tips!

Q: How are you handling quarantine with homeschooling kids and your businesses?

A: My businesses are very slow right now, so that helps free up some time and energy. My assistant, Emily is keeping the kids on track with homeschool. Blake, the oldest, has to log in on her laptop and has 4 classes a day taught by her teachers. I love that she still gets social interaction (sort of) with her classmates and gets the lessons from actual teachers.

Q: Who will you be voting for in November?

A: I’m apolitical.

Q: Did you fly direct to Exuma or go from Nassau?

A: We flew from Nassau. Read about the incredible Bahamas vacation Jeni and I took here.

Q: Do you feel pressure to maintain a certain physical image due to online presence?

A: Yes! I always took pride in my appearance, but this is next level. I don’t try to look amazing daily, but I definitely think about how I look before I get on stories or go out in public. I don’t get approached too often, but when I do I love hearing the following: You are the exact same as you are on instagram! and You look the same as you do online! Remember, authenticity is big for me, so mission accomplished when I hear that!

Q: What investment tips do you have? You have generated so much wealth!

A: The majority of my “net worth” is hung up in real estate right now. We have made really smart decisions when buying and selling our homes and that has paid off majorly. Buying a home is like a forced savings account and such a great investment. Make sure you take advantage of your 401k and getting the most matched that you can if your company offers that. I’m self employed, so I have a sep IRA that I fund for retirement. Make saving money something you do when you get paid, not at the end of the pay period when you are running low. We put our money in a totally different bank so that we wouldn’t be tempted to transfer out. If you have any debt, attack that, I like Dave Ramsey’s snowball method. It’s hard to think about investing when you are barely making ends meet, but even small moves now can get you in the habit and cash is king!

Q: Favorite place to travel? Favorite memory from your travels?

A: I love to travel anywhere, seriously! The beach, the mountains, the city, the country, just experiencing different ways of life is the best! My favorite two places have been Banff and Exuma. You can read about our experiences at both!

Q: What advice would you give your 23 year old self?

A: At 23 I was already married and had already changed career paths. I was a homeowner with two large dogs and my whole adult life ahead of me. Here is what 38 year old Paige would tell her now.

Let’s pretend 23 year old Paige was not married for the sake of this little exercise.

Ok, so you’re 23. Life has barely started. Your first job is going to be bad. Really bad. Sitting in a cubicle and being done with your daily tasks by 9:30 am will drive you to make a change. You will make a few other career changes and will eventually land on something that you love. Really, really love. So don’t settle for anything less and keep moving toward that feeling. When you are looking for a partner, find someone who you have that mind, body, soul connection with. A checklist of qualities is great to have, but a lifetime is really long. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, you will never actually grow up and will feel like you are 23 at 38, so don’t worry about turning into a no fun old geezer. I’m talking about adding the responsibilities slowly, there is beauty in patience. And we both suck at patience. Use your second thoughts and doubts to mold your life, don’t ever ignore these feelings. Take care of your body and your mind. Read a lot, use your free time to better yourself, learn some new skills. It’s never too late to make a change. NEVER. Not everyone will understand your choices all the time, but it will all become clear. Follow your intuition, there is nothing more powerful and more accurate and you are going to be so good at that. Be open-minded, you don’t know everything. Shit, you don’t know anything. It’s ok to not blindly believe things you have been told, it’s ok to go against the grain, it’s ok to be an out of the box thinker. Travel with your girlfriends, spend money on experiences, these will be some of your best memories. Say yes to things that make you happy and enrich your life and say hell no if you don’t want to do it. Don’t feel bad. Your time is valuable. When you decide to become a mother, holy shit will your world be rocked. The old Paige will die, but she will be back, evolved and better, and you will love her! Being pregnant and/or nursing for 10 years will be something you look back at like “whoa, I did that.” You can do hard things, you will do hard things. Don’t take the easy way out, don’t stifle who you are meant to be. Don’t listen to society and cultural norms and bullshit traditions if they don’t feed your soul. Be confident in who you are and who you will become, you will have a big story to tell one day. You will reach the lowest of lows, so low that you won’t believe what’s happening. But on the other side, it will be beautiful. In 15 years you will be so different than you are now, every step of the way will shape you and you have one hell of a journey to begin. I would say, you got this, but you already know that, you feel it. This is your one shot, make it mother fuckin’ epic lil Paige.