I had been waiting a long time for this vacation and wondering who the lucky guy would be that got to join me. Or if there would ever even be a guy worthy of joining me.
Quick Backstory
I had planned to celebrate my friend Erin’s 40th birthday last may at The One and Only Palmilla, her favorite resort. She had a big group going and I had a boyfriend that had a long history of bailing on women and breaking up or divorcing them impulsively. That surely wouldn’t happen to me, I am the girl who would go the distance.
BAHAHAHA wrong. Homeboy had the audacity to dump me when I had put up with so many red flags, red jump ropes, red hoops and red toxicity about a week before the vacation. Deuces.
I had to tell the resort I had COVID in an attempt to salvage my deposit and my dignity. They were so gracious to let me use the credit as long as I booked it before 2023 was over.
Deep down I hoped I would get to go on a romantic getaway with someone I loved and fall even more in love with each other on a luxury Cabo vacation. Reality punched me in the face a time or 5 along the way, which sucked, but with each pivot and lesson I got closer and closer to the one who swept me off my feetsies.
Enter James.
I seriously get butterflies just typing his name. When you have been through what I have been through, you appreciate a great man when you find one. Someone real that can meet you where you are emotionally, truly elevate your life AND looks as good as he does is a keeper. It’s also about as rare as the unicorn on the universal crazy hot matrix if you have seen that.
If not, I won’t leave you hanging.
Not me over here telling myself I couldn’t possibly be at least a 4 crazy. Then I remember PMS, so it probably brings down the average of all my good behavior.
I would get into how we met and how it all came to be, but I already did a quick backstory and two quick backstories are no longer quick.
Before we even left James got major boyfriend points for planning the entire trip. He booked us spa appointments, scheduled us to play golf, made all the dinner reservations and got the car service from the airport to the hotel all squared away. I did not ask him to do any of this, he just did it. So sexy and so appreciated.
Judging by our packing styles and general preparation skills alone, you can tell who is the organized mind and who is the scattered wild card wackadoodle.
If I had a dollarydoo for every time someone said that the One and Only Palmilla was the nicest place they had every been to, I would have at least $15.
Day 1: Travel day
Expectations were high, vibes were chill, I was at the airport with a seasoned airport dad. You know the type, alert, organized, aware, taking care of everything before anyone else even thinks about it. What else could I ask for?
Being the good instagram boyfriend that he is, he humored me and made some content on the plane. This video is in response to the plane lady that went viral just a couple of days before our trip. The one who said, “I’m telling you right NEEOW that m-f–er back there is not real!” in a big dramatic exit from the plane before takeoff.
I could tell the millisecond we arrived at The One and Only that it was just as luxurious and fantastic as everyone said. I have done my fair share of high end travel and this place was right up there with the top resorts. They have a welcome ritual for new guests which consists of ringing a bell, doing an ancient healing ceremony, a tequila welcome drink and a quick tour by your butler.
Surprise, surprise! I have a video!
Things I noticed right away:
There is incense poking out of the ground everywhere and it smells so good! I had slight fire safety concerns, but clearly they do not share those concerns.
Everyone that works there greets you with their hand on their heart and looks at you like they are indebted to you forever for simply existing. The most sincere greeting style of all time. Not gonna lie, I felt a little awkward at first and was like does everyone HAVE to do that EVERY time. Sort of reminds me of when the people at chick-fil-a say “my pleasure” repeatedly, but on a way larger scale with way more gratitude. We got used to it super fast and it was no longer weird.
We had dinner that first night at the resort at Agua overlooking the Sea of Cortez. I was so thankful to be on vacation, get a break from life and be there with someone so special to me. I could have walked around filled with gratitude doing the hand on my heart greeting to anyone that looked my direction. Instead I got a little tipsy and rode a bicycle. Basically the same.
This is Agua! It’s stunning!!
Day 2: OMG the spa
Thank goodness we had free breakfast included. Neither one of us are big breakfast people, but when resort food is as expensive as it is, you get your butt to breakfast and eat enough to make it until dinner. Nothing like overeating bloat and going directly to put on a swimsuit.
After breakfast, we had spa appointments. We got there early to do all the steaming and cold plunging and sauna-ing.
This cold plunge wasn’t as shockingly cold as the time I was peer pressured into a hilarious ice bath in my own pool in the dead of winter. I took it like a soldier this time, but unfortunately there was not a single person there to witness my experienced ice bath ways and give me props.
Not only was the spa itself impressive, the massage was in my top 3 massages of all time. I’m pretty sure I remember James saying it was his first place winner. I think he gave it some bonus points because of the black paper underwear they told him to put on in the locker room before the massage. I was not given the same instructions so I was extra giggly over it.
Massages were 10/10, facility was 10/10 and I’m really glad we went to the spa on the first day because a massage with a side of sunburn sounds not as excellent.
For the rest of the day, we went to the adult pool. It’s much smaller than the family pool, but has a swim up bar and no kids.
I wore the bikini James picked out for me that showed a bit more ass than I usually do. I had lots of Pina coladas and lived it up.
We had dinner that night at Suviche, the Japanese fusion restaurant at the resort. That was very on brand as we are a Japanese fusion couple.
This set is sold out everywhere now. I can share my jewelry though!
I liked Suviche better than Agua.
Maybe it was the food, maybe it was the overall feel, maybe it’s because I’m turning Japanese, but it was a great night!
Day 3: It’s all in the hips
We had an early tee time the next morning at Palmilla Golf Club. James is a great golfer and I am good to have around if you want to laugh, not take yourself too seriously and feel really confident in your golf game. We played the mountain course and the ocean course. As expected, ocean course was way prettier.
And experience Troon we did. In fact, James got a little too Troony on one particular hole that left me belly laughing and James traipsing through cactus filled rough terrain.
Watch this and see if you can spy the blooper.
Let’s run back the tape
After retrieving his rented club from the Chihuahua desert like area, we cruised on down the fairway to see where our shots landed. That ridiculous club throwing shot was one of his best all day.
It was hot and sweaty and we were using my favorite oil sunscreen, which is now his favorite sunscreen. All of that was the perfect storm for an accidental javelin moment.
I developed a crush on this house. It reminded me of my house.
If my house was huge, on the side of a mountain and way more awesome.
Now it seems nothing like my house aside from that it’s white, flat and has a sliding glass door.
There was a missed opportunity here to wear matching vibrant couple golf clothes and give the people of Palmilla something to make fun of. Dang it!
One round of golf was plenty for this vacation.
Damn alligator just popped up, cut me down in my prime.
Day 4: Flora Farms and escaping the cartel
James got us tickets for singer songwriter night at Flora Farms which was so fun!
Through this magical little area was this…
What a memorable and jazzy way to spend an evening!
I did think the uber driver’s car smelled like dead bodies. I started to panic a little that we were going to become one of those tragic Mexico travel stories. James assured me it was just protein farts, but to be honest that was equally as disturbing. Partially because ew and partially because he seemed way too familiar with that smell and confident in his statement.
Day 5: T&A
This day was greeted like so many of our Cabo days were, by Tits Martinez.
James started calling her Tits McGee, but I felt like it was too Irish. She needed a last name that was more common in Mexico. There are 3.3 million people with Martinez as a last name there so the odds seemed good.
Every day she does yoga, and every day she has on a different necklace, and for sure every day she lives her nudist truth. #goals
That day we spent some time on the beach. It’s not the most swimmable beach, but it’s still beautiful and fun to walk around on.
I also selected a literal thong to wear because why not wear your first public thong swimsuit at 41?! This thong situation was from TARGET and it’s maybe the only time I will ever wear it. It put the bootylicious bikini James got me to shame.
James thinks he looks predatory in the bottom pic. I however, love the pics and love an occasional predatory energy.
I just looked online at Target to try and link the swimsuit and it’s all sold out. Sorry to say you can’t join me in the skimpy green booty committee meeting this month.
Day 6: Last Day
On our last night we went to downtown Cabo to go to Edith’s! I have heard about Flora Farms and Edith’s for so long and had never been to either.
But first, we went to La Coyota which was so cute and a great place to shop.
If you are going to Edith’s or The Office, you must stop by and check out this place! I bought a glass heart and it’s hanging in my bedroom window now.
James’ face is cadaver gray and my legs are crayola orange-red but this is the only pic we got downtown together so let’s look past that just this once.
The famous Edith’s did not disappoint! I loved the atmosphere, the food and the pineapple margarita. I requested La Bamba and rocked out with the mariachi band and enjoyed the heck out of the bananas foster-esque dessert. Please keep in mind I don’t like bananas and it still was one of the best desserts ever.
What a perfect way to spend our final night on our first vacation together!
We walked on the beach one more time and took iPhone pics on a timer bc he’s a model, I’m a photographer and a content creator and we are cheez itz like that. And when cheese itz find each other and fall in love, they do things that reek of cheese.
Better than protein farts.
As the sun went down on our last night in my own personal heaven, I was both ready to get home to see my kids while also never wanting to leave the Cabo bubble. I could give him all my attention (aside from a few amazon prime day updates for my SD besties, a few Etsy shop orders to fulfill and some last minute photo edits that I had a deadline for #workaholism) and I got used to seeing that gorgeous face every morning and not sleeping alone.
This vacation was an absolute dream, a bucket list check, and a highlight in our love story.
But everything must come to an end. Adios One and Only.
Travel day problems
Upon arrival to the airport, we realized we had a big problem.
James didn’t have a checked bag and he had a snow globe, hand carved wooden swordfish statue AND custom signs in his carry on. We were going to have to change our flight to have enough time to figure out what to do with all of his treasures.
JK! That is all lies.
But we did have some airport anxiety that day for other reasons.
We messed up and didn’t realize that we were booked for 7 nights, 2 of which were free with our package and our flight was accidentally booked the day before we needed to leave.
It was impossible to get ahold of an actual human to try and change our flight. We had to go to the airport and hope that someone could help us move the flight so that we could go back for one more paid for night!
We were packed and ready to fly out on the original flight if we had to. The line was so dang long and we were getting shwetttty and running out of time.
This angel of an employee worked hard to figure it all out and got us on a cheaper non stop flight for the following day. I nominate her for a front parking space, a certificate to hang on her kiosk thing and a frapaccino.
Day 7: Last day for real this time
As lovely as Edith’s was, the real perfect way to end a vacation is to find out you have one more day in paradise. We were already packed and got to have a carefree pool day, it was perfect.
My last rambling thoughts on One and Only Palmilla:
It is not the typical Cabo experience I have had before. There was no music playing anywhere, there are no party people and there were quite a few kids. We brought our bluetooth speaker to the pool so it wasn’t a total snooze fest in silence. If you are looking for that kind of upbeat atmosphere for maybe a bachelorette trip or rowdy crowd, I would choose another hotel. It’s perfect for a calm relaxing quiet and peaceful time, which we loved and appreciated, but sometimes you want to turn up.
Everything was upscale, absolutely beautiful and there is so much attention to detail. If you haven’t been to Cabo, I highly recommend looking into One and Only. But also, be prepared to spend $15,000 or more per couple. Thankfully some of it was already paid for from my cancelled trip and there were two of us contributing, but it’s definitely pricey.
It would be a perfect place for a romantic anniversary celebration or babymoon.
Signing off with my hand over my heart and gratitude to all that made it this far.
