We thought you’d never ask volume 5

Hello and welcome back to the series where anything goes, beans are spilled, cats are let out of bags and nothing is off limits.

Did either of you have trouble getting pregnant?

Paige: No, but one kid took way longer than the rest and I started to freak. Kid one was conceived on attempt numero uno, when we were living in my childhood house with my parents while we finished building our second home. Yes I find that weird now, at the time it’s just where we lived and we wanted a baby so there. Kid 2 was conceived before I had even quit nursing kid one. I guess you could say that was a “surprise” but I was literally peeing on ovulation sticks to start trying when I found it odd that every single one of them, day after day, was positive. No one ovulates that much and that long! Turns out a positive ovulation test can actually be picking up the pregnancy hormone and Kylie Bun was already cooking. Can’t say I was too bummed about not having the mechanical, scientific trying-to-act-like-it’s-not-for-procreation-when-it-totally-is sex. 2 points for Paige, Zach sulks in the corner. Kid 3 was the one that was not immediate. We hard core tried for about 6 months, used the ovulation predictors, did the things, very actively tracked and tried. After 6 failed attempts, which I fully realize is a very low amount of attempts to start worrying about infertility, however for us it was weird and I was getting discouraged. I called my doctor to go in and see if he thought something was up or if I was just being antsy impatient me. The appointment I made with Dr. Z for the why is this not working talk, turned out to be my first prenatal appointment because I had gotten pregnant somewhere in that window and didn’t even have to cancel. I do not consider this trouble getting pregnant, but for those 6 or 7 months of failed tries, I gained a lot of empathy for those that truly struggle. Living your life in 2 week windows. Praying for something that you want so bad and frustrated that your body won’t just do it already. Knowing that your heart desires a baby so if the Lord gave you that feeling surely He will grant you the desires of your heart. Right? Right?? So many things we can’t wrap our heads around on this side of Heaven. I also felt so selfish and awful for having 2 kids already but falling slowly in a depressed state when conceiving the third child was taking over my thoughts. Anyway, that super small taste into the frustration was not fun and I figured my baby having days were done. Pregnancy pact (read about that here) kid 4? One and done, silver bullet, meant to be, bullseye, yee ha, Yahtzee!

Jeni: Fortunately, no. I have had many friends that struggled with fertility and I’ve seen the heartbreak. I had one ovary removed in high school and I remember crying and crying because I was so worried I’d never have a baby one day. For as long as I can remember my dream was to be a mother. Thankfully that one ovary cranked out eggs like it was her JOB. Nick and I did have a miscarriage before Hayes was born and that was one of the hardest things we have ever been through in our marriage.

What was life like after Jeni’s divorce? How did she make things work financially?

Jeni: I thought a lot about going back to work but my kids were still so small (2 & 4). I did everything I could to be able to stay home with them. My parents helped me quite a bit while I was going through my separation and after my divorce I made the choice to use my child support & settlement money to stay home knowing I would most likely have to get a job again in the near future. I tried to be very smart about where we spent money and got pretty thrifty during that time. It was a hard and scary time. Being a single mom is not for the faint of heart. If I am being totally honest…which I always am I pretty much blocked out that time period. My friends will ask me if I remember something and I literally don’t. It’s like I have PTSD and I’ve removed it from my memory because it was just too much. If you’re going through this now hang in there!!!

Do you think you will get fillers again?

Paige: Meh, I don’t know. I’m more of a botox gal. Fillers don’t make a big difference on me and the times I have done my lips, I have swelled up to sausage lip status and had to apologize to my clients for a week and hide my face in shame. I would like to try another laser treatment though. But you didn’t ask that.

Jeni: Maybe waaaaay down the road. Filler makes me a bit nervous. I’ve just seen too many over-filled faces and I’m not a fan of the puffy look. I do think if it’s done very conservatively its beautiful. I’m thinking I may want just a touch every few years.

Most embarrassing story?

Paige: This story is long. This story is absurd. This is something that would only happen to me and I’m here to tell this cautionary tale of the migraine with aura while 35 weeks pregnant and the day I caused a huge and out of character scene in the ER.

In the early years of Paige Walker Photography, I had a studio in the basement of my house. I was finishing up a one year photo shoot when I started seeing spots and flashes in the corners of my eyes. I was feeling light headed and my hands were numb and tingly. I assumed this was high blood pressure, which pregnant women are monitored closely for, and called the doctor. My vision and numbness were getting worse quickly so the nurse told me to get to the hospital right away. I threw my flip flops on my fat feet and jumped in the truck with Zach so he could drop me off.

We had to make umpteen u turns to find the L&D entrance and I started to freak out a little and just made Zach stop the truck and I waltzed right into the ER since we couldn’t find labor and delivery. I told Zach to go get Blake from school and meet me up there later if need be. I was just there to get my blood pressure checked and a quick evaluation so I didn’t mind being left there alone.

As I wandered into the ER, things took an awful turn. I vaguely remember a police officer offering me a wheelchair and I said no and kept on pregnant swaggin in. This is about where my memory gets foggy and I became disoriented and confused. I had a complete shift of personality and turned into someone that I did not recognize. I somehow was with it enough to make it to what looked like a front desk. I went on the wrong side of the counter where the workers were and they were all weirded out and asked me to take a seat. I told them I was seeing spots and had numb hands and at this point I barely even knew why I was there or who I even was. After one of the employees called me up and got some information about me, who knows what the heck I told her, my other bestie Allison texted. She had a question about Neiman’s and I’m so glad she did because when I texted her back that I was in the hospital, she called me right away thinking I must be in labor. In a filled to capacity waiting room, I answered the phone and started obnoxiously, loudly wailing, “Alllllisooooon help meeeeeeeee, I don’t know why I’m heeeeeerrrrrrrrre. I’m aloooooooonnnnneee!!!! I have been here for so loooooonnnnnng!! Boo hoo hoo, sob sob sob, scream scream scream, cause a HUGE scene. She was so sweet and tried to chill me out and called Zach, who thought he left his fairly normal wife at the ER to get a blood pressure reading, to tell him that Paige has dun lost it and is causing a ruckus in the ER. I had only been there about 10 minutes at this point and had officially entered a state of bizarre confusion.

I was causing such a scene and was so out of control, that a nurse moved me into a small office where the nurses do their paperwork and other non patient things. I’m sure they needed a plan to hide the screaming, psychiatric or druggy pregnant girl ASAP. “shove her in the office, quick!” The nurse that probably owed someone a favor, and was assigned to me, was so nice and telling me not to be scared and that I would be ok. I could hear their side conversations about whether they should keep me there or move me to L&D. They were fortunate enough to keep me with them and they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to a room where they would assess my symptoms. I could not remember what a wheelchair was called. I remember trying so hard to think of the word but it was like I was trying to recall a Chinese word I had heard once or something. It was so far back in my memory and with whatever brain power I had working, I started to be certain I had suffered a stroke.

When I got to my room, I was still alone at this point, the nurses and doctors were asking me all sorts of questions that I was answering in silly and ridiculous non helpful ways. Imagine a drunk girl answering medical questions and that is what it seemed like. I can’t even stress to you what a people pleaser and great patient I am normally, so this behavior was so out of character for me! A male nurse asked me to take off everything but my undies and I said “I will not.” and I laid back down on the table fully clothed and uncooperative. Another doctor came in and asked if I could walk and I got up like a 99 year old woman, held on to his hand and shuffled around him in a painfully slow circle. I don’t know if I was exaggerating or what the heck. A really great nurse was able to coerce me into a hospital gown and somehow talked me into the IV that I had been pouting about and refusing. I was asking her, “what is this?” “what does it do?” “will it hurt me?” I was like a child who had never seen or experienced anything and had no manners and no idea what normal things were or how the world operated. I told her, dead serious, “I have never heard of an IV.”

Zach finally arrives to the nightmare that is his wife with an unrecognizable personality, he was told I was about to go have a CT scan. He said when he entered the room I was asking what the color blue was and what that meant. I’m so glad he arrived, I’m sure everything I had said up to that point wasn’t helpful whatsoever to the poor staff that was stuck with me. Zach was convinced I was dying of a brain tumor and he would be left alone to raise his three daughters. I’m sure waiting for the results were torture as Zach went through every awful scenario of what our lives were probably about to be. Good news! Nothing showed up on the scan! My blood was normal, my pee was normal! So what was next on the checklist? Flushing out my ears with water to see if that was what was making me so dizzy and walking like a drunk geriatric. After they flooded out my left ear, a piece of ear wax that was about as long as a pencil came out. Where was that? How? She called another nurse in to look at this monstrosity and they told us it was the biggest ear wax they had ever seen. What an honor! Sadly, once they removed the Guiness Book of World Records ear wax piece, I was still off my rocker. They decided that it had to just be a migraine, even though I didn’t even have any headache pain until the very end of my ER stay, but then it became excruciating. Morphine was put in my IV and 7 hours of ER shenanigans were coming to a close and all that would remain was a postdrome of continued cognitive impairment and fatigue.

So what even was that?? It’s called and aura migraine. The aura starts as a warning sign and that was what was happening at the end of the photo shoot. During the aura portion you see spots, zig zags and flashing lights. Check, check, check! A numbness and pins and needles feeling happen in your hands and face. Check! Before the headache even started I was nauseas, having problems remember words and speaking, trouble walking and general confusion. When I got home from the hospital, I slept a ton and I couldn’t remember how to edit photos for a week. That was crazy to me because I edit photos all day, using the same recipe and the same steps and I couldn’t remember any of it. My brain was jacked up!

One last thing, Jeni texted me in the middle of this mess to see how I was doing and just to let you know how wacko I was, I simply texted back “Bot.” In what world does that response make any sense and seem appropriate or helpful?

That is my embarrassing day at the ER, where I was rude, defiant, forgotten everything I had ever known, taken on some completely strange personality and they had to hide me in an office to stifle my screams and sobs. Goodness gracious!

Jeni: Jeni can’t think of an embarrassing story to write here, so I’m going to use a few key words to remind her of some and maybe she will tell on stories or get on here and type one out. 1. NYC waddles 2. Michael Bolton 3. Pillow Problems 4. Beaver Cleaver 5. Flapjack boat twerk

What advice would you tell your 25 year old self?

Paige: At 25, I had been married for 3 years and had a new baby. I would tell myself, “dear sweet Paige, you are in the motherhood trenches and will be for many, many years. You will not die of sleep depravation so stop googling it. You have so much to look forward to and the 20s are going to be hard. Financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically since you will need to lose that 60lbs of ice cream and pizza you put on during that pregnancy. You will struggle with anxiety, so get the help you need ASAP, putting it off will only make things worse. Being a stay at home mom may not be for you, so chase after some crazy dreams girl, you will blow your goals out of the water and blaze some serious trails. You will strangely try body building when trying to find something to fulfill your hard working spirit, please just move on as quickly as you can from this very strange phase. The life you build will be unbelievable, so keep your head up young grasshopper and by all means, keep that sense of humor, keep those around you laughing and stand strong in your faith. 37 year old Paige has it pretty damn good, so push on sista, you’re going to be juuuuuuust fine! Also 25 year old Paige, you are going to have 4 kids baahahahahaha!”

Jeni: Enjoy where you’re at. Don’t always be searching for what’s next. The years between college and marriage were some of the most fun. Live it up!

What is the square footage of both of your new homes?

Paige: 4584

Jeni: We live on a golf course where there is a minimum square footage of 6000. Our house is right at the minimum. I honestly never wanted and definitely do not NEED a house this big but we fell in love with the lot…It is VERY hard to find an acre in McKinney so it is what it is. We really thought through the space and made the bedrooms bigger & each have an en suite so there wasn’t any wasted space. I didn’t want extra rooms just to have extra rooms. So each of our kids has their own room, their own bathroom and we have a guest room with its own bath as well. That really helped us meet the minimum.

How/when/what age did you know your oldest daughter had learning differences?

Paige: At the end of kindergarten she was diagnosed. Read this post, it’s the whole shebang of the story and hollar back if you have any questions!

Curious how much your kids know about the mommy makeovers?

Paige: My kids knew that I was going in for surgery to fix my body that was changed drastically from pregnancies and breastfeeding. Well, not Griffin, he is too young to know what the heck was going on. I told them that I had nursed all of them for over a year and that when I wore a swim suit, my boobs would easily slide out and that would be embarrassing looking and I was self conscious. Remember, my mom compared what was left of my hanging skin to my 85 year old grandmother’s chest. They also knew that my tummy muscles had been separated and that I had a hernia and wanted to be put back together again. 2 of my girls were like, oh cool and moved on and didn’t really mention it again. My oldest, wise old soul daughter, was astounded that anyone would care about their outward appearance enough to do a surgery. She only sees the spirit of the person, I know a lot of people say this, but she is one that actually does operate this way. She understands why I did it, she just doesn’t think she would ever consider such a thing. We are so much alike and I used to think the exact same way! Even up into my mid 20s, I thought boob jobs were for strippers or girls that just wanted attention. It wasn’t until it became a reconstruction of sorts, that I was even interested. People change, ideas change, bodies change, my girls and I are so close that they know they are gorgeous and perfect and that surgeries to change your body are possible and can be a great option, but are not necessary. My girls are so confident and admire me so much, I just don’t ever want them thinking that I look this way just on my own. Like my boobs just happened to pop back up to their 20 year old version. Y’all know I’m a real kind of gal and that goes into my parenting as well. It has helped us be so close and my daughters come to me openly with so much, I’m really really lucky.

Jeni: I have never had a mommy makeover so there is nothing to tell. My body doesn’t seem to create fat cells as my friends say, so I was the first to go for an upgrade way back in the day. Some call me the OG of said upgrade. I am careful to not talk about appearance stuff in general in front of my kids, especially my daughter because I don’t want her to think that is where her worth lies. But as she grows I am sure she will have questions about certain things and I always want to be open and honest with her.

How did Waffles & Cavi get their names?

Paige: While perusing the world wide web for the perfect name we concocted a list of the following: Pixie, June Bug, Pam, Carla, Fifi and Waffles. Seeing as we are not in the accounting department, Pam and Carla had to go. The others would have been fine, but Waffles was the only one all of my kids loved. Jeni wanted help coming up with a name so I wanted to find her some fun food names to go with Waffles. I sent a list of a bunch of favorites, but Caviar the Cavapoo was just too funny and cute! Plus, Waffles and Caviar sum up our style philosophy so why not?!

Jeni: Paige came up with Caviar because it went with our “brand.” We are all about high/low fashion and mixing our $9 tops with our $500 shoes. From that the ideas of Waffles & Caviar was born. I will never call her Caviar though because that’s cheesy af. I do love Cavi, and it was the kids top pick so boom.

Dating after divorce?

Jeni: Is awkward. Period. It feels like a betrayal after being married for so long and it takes some getting used to it. Thankfully Nick was my first date and we had already known each other (he was my college love) so that was a little more comforting. I am a relationship kind of girl so I am thankful I wasn’t in the dating world long.

Are your kids friends or more like cousins?

Paige: Friends. Jackson and Blake are oddly similar and remind me so much of each other in their quirky little cute ways. All of my girls think Presley is amazing and Kylie is bound and determined to make Hayes and Griffin BFFs. Since they don’t hang out much due to proximity, it’s always really exciting when they get to play!

Jeni: Friends. We live far enough apart that they don’t see each other that often. Now that we have the blogging gig they have been getting together more often and its been so fun for me to see their relationships form. Presley thinks Blake is the coolest.

Not kid’s mess, but is your bedroom/personal space ever messy?

Paige: Have you ever heard of doorbell anxiety? That oh sh*t feeling when someone shows up unannounced. I don’t think I have ever NOT had a freak out moment when someone gives me a 5 mins or less warning that they are coming over. Even before kids our house was a disaster most of the time. I would love to say it’s not dirty just messy, like you hear some people say. But mine can be straight up dirty. Where the heck does it come from? I have a housekeeper come every Thursday and if it wasn’t for her, just sign me up for hoarders and burn the place down. I try really hard to make the front formal living room look ok in case someone does come over I have ONE room that says “I have my life together, now don’t look too closely at the dirty chairs or take a deep whiff bc the litter box may or may not be clean omg.” I also make my bed about half the time and give myself a little pat on the back for that and light a candle and just move on. No time to worry about it. The only real thing I have going for me is that I am the ultimate purger. I hate stuff. It clutters my already struggling ADHD brain and makes me feel like I want to slam a door. These are my confessions.

Jeni: Pretty much always messy. I can usually keep the main areas of my house tidy and I love when my house is totally organized & clean but it just doesn’t stay that way long. Kids, life, etc it’s just a lot. I used to be the type that had to pick everything up when the kids were in bed and now I’m like oh well, I’ll deal with it tomorrow. I only make my bed right before getting back into it that night. Maybe some of this will change when we get into our new home? Probably not.